One of my biggest fears in life is having regret. I am unable to tell you if you will live a life free of regret, but there are actions you can avoid to ensure that you don’t have regrets in the future.
1. Never taking the time to know yourself. A few years ago I found many ways to prevent myself from knowing myself. It was easy to get lost in activities with friends, classes, work, TV, movies and other stimulus that did not allow me any space and time to really ponder who I am and what I want out of life. You will regret wasting many years of your life pursuing a dream that isn’t yours or partaking in activities and behaviors that really do not reflect your core values or provide you with happiness. Take time to explore your interests and figure out what is right for you.
2. Being dishonest with yourself. You might be resisting what you really want or who you are because you simply cannot be honest with yourself about your own needs. Maybe you actually dislike your job, but keep convincing yourself that it’s best to stay within your job because the pay is good, there is stability, opportunities for career growth and overall you like the people you work with. Perhaps you are pursuing a dream that is not your dream. However, you keep persisting to prove people wrong or because you feel certain people really think that is something you should pursue. It can be easy to be dishonest with yourself about your own needs or wants. Don’t waste time with the lies you tell yourself.
3. Missing out on the little moments. You might be trying to do too much and all at once. You have to graduate early and with two degrees at that. You are exhausting yourself by working overtime to try to get that promotion, raise or career opportunity. You are trying so hard to find the right partner, that you go through tons of dates at a time. We only have this one life and although these milestones may be part of your journey, it is important to appreciate the small moments in life.
4. Skipping crucial steps needed to achieve an outcome. Usually the best things in life are achieved through a long journey of hard work, perseverance and patience. It is rare that the best things are easy and do not require prep work. When you know what you want, but are not willing to put in the necessary work, you waste opportunities and time. As a result, you may end up regretting the fact that you couldn’t take the time to achieve a dream you really wanted. This can happen within a career, dream or in your relationships. You might find that you might be sabotaging a relationship with a great person because you are not willing to compromise and make sacrifices, which ultimately lead to losing out on something that could have been great.
5. Not taking care of your health. In the past 5 years I’ve become really conscious of my health. I have not been perfect about it and some exercise and nutrition habits were all based around trial and error, but focusing on my health has been one of my top priorities. There is no better time than now to get focused on your health. Work on having a lifestyle where you get proper rest, exercise and eat healthily.
6. Procrastination. I used to love procrastinating. Putting things off until later seemed much easier than just getting started on it now. Unfortunately, when you procrastinate, suddenly months and years have gone by and you still did not get around to doing any of the things that you wanted to do. I understand how tempting it can be to put things off and just stay comfortable. However, procrastination just delays your dreams even further. The best way to not allow procrastination to take over is to start doing something now and actually sticking to it. Develop positive habits where you can continue to focus on pursuing the things you need to do to achieve your dreams.
7. Not practicing forgiveness. When a person hurts you, you may be tempted to ignore them and never speak to them again. Forgiveness allows you to move forward. Forgiveness allows you to find peace and to let go of what happened. Also, some relationships are meant to end while others are not. When you learn to forgive, you allow yourself a new beginning with someone to achieve a stronger and healthier relationship with that person. Again, some relationships are too toxic and may need to end. However, others can be worked on, salvaged, and just need some healing space and forgiveness to thrive. By not practicing forgiveness you deny yourself a gift of happier relationships and peace of mind.
8. Never apologizing. We are all human and make mistakes. Be honest when you are letting your stubbornness and pride get in the way of moving forward in your relationships. Take a step back and acknowledge that maybe you did not handle a situation well, maybe you did overreact and maybe you are at fault and need to apologize. Although saying you are sorry can be difficult, you may be hurting people and opportunities by not sincerely apologizing.
9. Not letting go of the past. You may still be living in the past or constantly mulling over the what if or should haves in your life. You cannot change your past. You will always have memories of what happened. However, you can change your perspective and how you will move forward due to the past. All of us have scars or have made mistakes that we regret. That’s okay. Time to let that go and move forward and see what’s coming next. Use the missed opportunities and mistakes as a learning lesson for the future.
10. Not expressing yourself. Not being able to communicate your needs can be one of the main problems in your relationships with other people. I can understand how scary and vulnerable it might feel to communicate your needs or feelings to someone, but unfortunately you cannot move forward until you express yourself. Let your loved ones know when you are hurting, if you need help or just how much you love them.
11. Basing decisions off of fear. The best way to determine if you are settling in any area of your life is to measure if you are staying based on fear. Are you not changing career paths because of a fear of the unknown and the possibility that you might be making a mistake? Are you not saying how you really feel because you fear your partner or friend might walk away? If you are not making a decision because you are fearful of the potential consequences, then that may be a sign that you are not making the right choice. Feeling fear is normal. However, do not base your decisions because of fear.
12. Taking people for granted. With our busy lives, it can be easy to get caught up in other things and not make time for the important people in your life. You might find that you never tell these people how much you love and appreciate them or never follow through on actions to show them how you feel. Although being rejected and not loved can hurt, I honestly believe that taking the people you love for granted is an even more painful feeling. You may never know how much someone meant to you until they are gone, so take each opportunity to share your love and appreciation to the people who mean the most to you while they are in your life.