You can get over your fear. It doesn’t matter if these fears have been with you for what feels like forever, or if right now you don’t feel ready to challenge your fears but you can conquer your fears. Overcoming your fears is something that you can do with practice and patience. Just like many things in life, facing your fears is a skill that improves the more you do it. There’s no time limit either. Understand that the process of conquering your fears takes time. You may take small steps at first, but as you take steps forward, you will become stronger and more confident. Eventually the fear will not have power over your life.
Giving power to your fears can sabotage your happiness and personal success. Now is the perfect time to stop letting your fears prevent you from embracing opportunities and taking chances. Below are some techniques to help you overcome your fears.
1. Practice calming yourself with deep breathing. Fears creates a heightened level of anxiety and you might feel like you are unable to breathe or do much of anything when faced with fear. Many people find deep and calm breathing to be highly effective when dealing with anxiety. Practice taking long and deep breaths and inhale for just over five seconds and exhale your breath for slightly longer than that. Practice taking deep breaths regularly. At first it may seem uncomfortable, but the more you practice deep breathing, the more effective you will find that it quickly relieves some of the symptoms of anxiety.
2. Be aware of the power that fear has over your life. When dealing with a lifelong fear, you might struggle to see how that fear has made a tremendous and negative impact on your life. Because you are accustomed to having these fears, you may be completely unaware that these fears have stopped you from making positive changes in your life. Fears often feed you negative self-thoughts and negative beliefs about yourself. Be aware of the power that you give to fears. Your fears might tell you that you can’t survive doing something different, that you will fail if you take an opportunity, that you are unworthy of amazing love in your life or give you all the worst-case scenarios of doing something that could be amazing in your life. It’s important that you remain aware that these fears have power in your life and they don’t need to have that power. Do not underestimate the power your fears have in your life and how they are probably stopping you from doing something wonderful in your own life and making healthy and positive changes.
3. Acknowledge and accept your fears. Having fears is normal. Every person has fears and that’s okay. You don’t need to make yourself feel bad for having fears in your life. Everybody has something that they are afraid of whether that’s changing jobs, going to school, speaking in public, embarking on a new adventure, relocating or meeting new people. When you don’t acknowledge your fears, or make yourself feel bad about having fears, you prevent yourself from confronting your fears and end up giving your fears more power over your life. Having fears is normal but what matters the most is how you handle those fears. Take time to acknowledge that you have fears and that’s okay, and it’s time for you to move forward despite having those fears.
4. You can take action and feel afraid. You might believe that you aren’t ready to take action because you feel fear. Doing something new is scary and it’s okay to feel afraid while doing something new. I remember when doing job interviews I felt incredibly nervous and had anxiety. Yet I knew cancelling the interview because I felt fear was not an option. Instead, I showed up to the interview and did the best that I could regardless of how nervous I was feeling. Once the interview ended, I was happy that I pushed myself to go even though the process was nerve-wracking. It’s important that you push yourself to still take action even if you feel afraid. There’s nothing wrong with feeling afraid and it’s very normal to feel fear when taking those first steps forward.
5. Believe that taking a step forward helps you battle your fears. Conquering your fears can be overwhelming to even think about. You might want to move forward and fight your fears but feel like you are not capable of reaching that place where your fears don’t have any more power in your life. As a result, you might feel incapable to take any action right now. Instead, focus on the first step you can take right now. Battling a fear isn’t easy and the process will not happen overnight. Take that first step so you can realize that you are in control. You are more powerful than your fears. By taking action, you can conquer that fear.
6. Assess your choices. Fear can make you do the one thing that comes easiest to you at the time which is run and avoid the situation. When faced with a new opportunity and experience, you might get that familiar feeling of anxiety and instead choose to do nothing, rather than take action. Often, choosing the option to run away can leave to regret. Instead, think about your options. Don’t use this time to avoid the option either. One of my friends was petrified about going on a date with a woman who he had connected with on an online dating site. He hasn’t been on a date in years and felt fearful about the situation. The woman was actively messaging him and seemed interested, but when the time came to organize a date, he froze and got that familiar feeling of wanting to avoid the situation that caused him the most fear. Fortunately, he gave himself a day to formulate a response and think about his options before replying. He was quickly tempted to ignore the message or not reply for days due to the fear he felt, but instead he assessed his options and realized the best choice was to reply to her and set up a date. Take time to think through your choices, but don’t use this time as a reason to avoid the situation either.
7. Take note of the small steps. Conquering your fears is the destination but you have a long journey ahead of you. Don’t allow the negative self-talk to minimize those small steps or make you inaccurately believe that those small steps don’t count. The steps you take are part of the journey. Each accomplishment is worth celebrating and appreciating. For instance, when trying to become fluent in another language you will first learn the basics such as the alphabet and simple words. Although this is the beginner steps, mastering these steps will create a foundation for what you will learn in the future. To grasp a language, you need to master the basics. Although you might feel like you are far away from achieving something, appreciate the small steps along the way that are getting you closer and closer to that destination.
8. Mistakes and failures pave the way to success. Part of your fears might be due to anxiety about failing or making a mistake. You are capable of succeeding in whatever you want to do in this life, but you will need to give it a try, make mistakes, fail and learn from those failures. You need to keep going and moving even when you make a mistake. Realize and understand that achieving your dreams means that you need to keep learning and persevering even when things get hard and you make mistakes. There’s no reason to fear the possibility of failure because you can grow and learn from your mistakes.
9. Get support when you need it. Conquering your fears isn’t something that you must do alone. Some things are easier to do when you have a friend or mentor to help get you going. I have a friend who experiences social anxiety so I help occasionally by going to some events with him where he is meeting new people. I have friends who give me advice when I’m nervous about a job interview. There are friends who ask for my support when putting themselves out there in dating. I remember when I was single that I did speed dating with a few friends who felt nervous about getting back into the dating scene. I’ve been a travel partner to people who were nervous about traveling somewhere new for the first time. Friends and mentors can help you overcome your fears so rely on your loved ones when you need to.
10. Learn about your fears. Your fears might be coming from a place of misinformation. When you learn about your fears, you will understand how realistic those fears are in your life and how fighting those fears can have a positive impact on your life. You might be afraid to travel overseas because you are worried something terrible will happen to you. Instead of blindly believing this fear, do a bit of research on the places you want to visit. You might find that some countries or cities are quite safe, maybe even safer than your home country! You might find groups that you can travel with that help take care of your safety or that some of your preconceived beliefs about a place aren’t true at all. The same thing goes for fear of public speaking as well. Research how to get better at public speaking or consider taking a course so that you can get the confidence you need with other people who also share your fear. Learn about the opportunities within academia and your career that you could have if you were able to conquer this fear. The more you learn about a fear, the more you can see the fear for what it truly is.
11. You are more powerful than your fears. As scary as all your fears seem right now, you already have all the tools within you to move forward. Practice positive self-talk and remind yourself that you are strong, brave, intelligent and have everything within you to learn the skills and knowledge that you need to confront your fears head on. Don’t allow your fear to seem stronger than you. Don’t let your dreams feel out of reach because you are afraid. You are more than capable of doing whatever you want to do. You are enough.
12. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. The way you treat your body does play a role in your anxiety. Exercise helps to moderate stress and anxiety. You don’t have to do intense exercise to receive the benefits either. You might discover that taking a walk outside improves your mood, lessens your anxiety and boosts your endorphins. The same goes for your diet as well. Some foods and beverages can make your anxiety worse such as caffeinated drinks or alcohol and the sweeteners and other chemicals in your food. Change your diet and daily habits to encompass positive behaviors that naturally reduce anxiety and stress within your life.