Many of us can relate to an event that makes you reevaluate your perception of the world around you. Suddenly you feel like the world is not full of great people or that life lacks meaning. Sometimes this mindset seems to hit you out of nowhere. If you suffer from depression you might go through unexplained moments where you feel like life lacks meaning. A recent divorce or breakup can make you start doubting the existence of love or make you wonder if you will ever find love again. The death of a loved one can make the world seem bleak and empty. A job loss might make you feel hopeless and depressed. The list continues. Certain events can drive you into a state of perceiving the world and people around you with negativity.
Below are some tips to help change your perception of the world and people around you.
Surround yourself with positive people. When you are going through a tough time, you need to be around people who are positive and supportive. You know who those people are and it may be best to limit your time with people who tend to put a negative spin on what you are going through. For instance, if you are going through a heartbreak you may want to avoid being around friends who hate dating, relationships, have a negative perception of dating and marriage and who may not share your values on relationships. These friends may end up reinforcing your negative perceptions which may make you feel worse. Instead, surround yourself with people who are positive, kind and want you to be happy.
Avoid doing things that will make you feel worse. Many of us want to escape our issues by giving into activities that we believe may help us get through our negative perceptions of the world, but ultimately end up making us feel worse. For instance, you may want to lock yourself in your room and avoid people when going through a tough time. You may tell yourself that you need time to be completely alone and shut off to the world (which you may need to a certain degree) but doing this excessively can foster negative thinking and make you feel horrible in the long-term. Even seemingly good ideas like going out drinking all night with your friends to extinguish the pain can end up feeling horrible. Be honest with yourself about when something is a bad idea, and avoid doing things that will keep you in a negative spiral. Also avoid going out with the friends who bring negative energy to you. This friend may be fun and exciting but may also encourage negative behaviors that may not make you feel good about your situation such as drinking too much, engaging in reckless behaviors, sabotaging healthy relationships or giving you terrible advice.
Do things that make you feel better about yourself and the world. When you are in a tough place, it can be easy to avoid the world or participate in activities that reinforce your negative perceptions of the world. Instead, go and experience the world in a positive way. Get in touch with friends who make you feel good, and have dinner, watch a show or go hiking with them. Become involved in a personal project that makes you feel good and challenges you in a healthy way. Do something positive for the people in your life. Give something to a loved one or someone who is in pain. Share words of appreciation to the loved ones in your life. Ask for help, and you will see amazing people who value you and will do what they can to be there for you.
Remember there are many beautiful possibilities and opportunities in the world. I’m no stranger to heartbreak and feeling negative about life sometimes. Everyone is susceptible to negative thoughts and has been through their share of heartache in the world. The wonderful thing about life is you can make anything of it. When getting over a terrible breakup several years ago that almost destroyed my perception of love and the goodness in people, I found myself looking for ways to be open to the beauties in the world. I took the opportunity to travel and eventually move overseas to a country I view as a second home now. I focused more on projects that brought meaning into my life. I connected with some amazing people who ended up being a wonderful support group to me. All this could not have happened if I did not open myself up to the opportunities that exist in the world. Although you may be feeling terrible right now, remember the world is full of exciting and wonderful opportunities. Get out and experience the world in a positive way, and you’ll naturally gravitate to having a better perception of the world.
You are in control. Going through something that is sudden, unexpected and absolutely painful may make you feel out of control over your emotions. You may find that you are unable to stop crying or having a difficult time getting out of bed. You may feel like it is pointless to get through your own emotions. Fortunately you are in control of your emotions and you can take clear steps to manage those emotions. When dealing with grief, you may need to get grief counseling, rely more on support from loved ones and be open to the idea of moving forward at some stage. When feeling like you don’t have a support group you may need to open yourself to opportunities to meet new people and step out of your comfort zone to meet the right people for you. Remember that even when you feel like your emotions are completely out of your control, you can always take steps to manage your emotions and get to a healthier and positive place.
Remember that changing your perception changes your reality. You have likely met people who seem very negative about life. Unfortunately these people often have lives that reflect that negativity. Because they think they cannot find a better job, they don’t put themselves out there to look for other career opportunities. Because a person feels everyone in the world is a liar, this person may not open themselves up to being vulnerable and trusting someone. To have a more positive reality, you have to adopt positive thinking. Once you fully accept that having a positive perception is one of the first steps to seeing the world in a much happier light, you can start making real steps to make that perception a reality.