Confidence allows you to achieve your goals and to believe that you have the capability to achieve what you want out of life. Fortunately confidence is something that you can build over time. You don’t just suddenly wake up as confident. Having confidence is a transitional process. There are many things you can do to build your confidence but below are behaviors that you can adopt today to help strengthen your self-confidence.
1. Be yourself. Confidence is ultimately about being comfortable with who you are, authentic and loving yourself. When you have all those attributes, you will naturally have confidence. Start with learning who you are, accepting who you are and then loving yourself. You don’t have to change your values, traits or the things that make you fundamentally you to become more confident.
2. Allow someone to help you. Some of us incorrectly believe that it’s a negative quality to ask for help or reflects badly upon us. Having the mindset that you don’t need anybody and can do everything yourself, may seem empowering but can also have negative consequences. Part of having confidence is being honest with yourself and understanding that not only do you have weaknesses but it’s normal and healthy to have weaknesses and not be perfect. Everybody has shortcomings and weaknesses. A confident person can ask for help. A confident person doesn’t need to do everything themselves but is able to request help from someone who has the necessary skills to maybe do the job a bit better. A confident person may even have the capability to do a task themselves but understands that it is sometimes beneficial to allow another person to help. A confident person understands that asking for help is an opportunity for learning, growth, networking and establishing stronger connections with other people. Build confidence by asking someone for help. Try to not worry about coming across as needy, incapable or unintelligent. It’s natural and very human to ask for help.
3. Be uncomfortable. Having a confident mindset requires that you step out of your comfort zone. Being confident may seem easy when you stick to situations and people that are comfortable and easy. However, doing something that is easy does not give you room for growth and building inner strength. When something feels uncomfortable, your first instinct may be to resist. This is natural. Some of the best opportunities I’ve ever had in my life, started off as uncomfortable. Keep in mind I’m not talking about situations that feel toxic, negative or go against your values and the type of person you want to be. These are situations that involve risks, doing things that push us beyond our comfort and sometimes you may even want to resist, even if deep down you know this might be good for you. The only real way to grow is by stepping out of your comfort zone. Take that step and be uncomfortable and see what positive changes occur as a result.
4. Be compassionate and kind. When I think of a confident person, I imagine someone who is smiling, laughing, positive and spreads that positive energy to the people around them. The best way to awaken that positivity within you is to authentically start being positive. Work on being kind to others. For instance, if you are having a bad day and really want to take it out on your coworkers, try to resist. I can understand the temptation to want to take your negative energy onto others, but instead resist that temptation, and treat others with the kindness that all of us deserve. This doesn’t mean that you cannot feel negative sometimes. Having those feelings are normal, but it’s how you handle those negative feelings that matter the most. Work on self-control and treating people with compassion. Give people authentic compliments. Let someone know how much you appreciate them. Take a moment to brighten someone’s day or offer your help if you can sense someone struggling.
5. Failure is inevitable. A confident mindset understands that failure is a reality that all of us must face at some stage. A confident person understands that often times failure is necessary to achieve success. Although failing can hurt and certainly seem like a step backwards, it’s often necessary to move forward more effectively. When you develop a confident mindset you see each failure as a learning opportunity and keep moving forward to achieve your goals.
6. Accept when you are wrong. When I was younger I had a terrible time accepting that I was wrong. Stubbornness would make it incredibly difficult for me to back down and admit that I made a mistake, got the facts wrong or simply messed up. Unfortunately I hurt a few people this way and lost a couple of opportunities. I also had a nasty habit of taking it personally when I was wrong, when in actuality, it’s normal and it’s okay. A confident mindset understands that being wrong happens. Not all of us have the right answers at the right time. What is important is wanting to find out the right answer and move forward.
7. Stop caring about what others think. Not everybody will like you and not everyone will support or even understand your dreams. Trying to measure up or impress someone is wasted effort. A confident person understands that the world is made up of all kinds of people who may not agree with you. Having a confident mindset allows you to not invest energy into people who are not important to you. A confident person values quality relationships and nurtures the people who truly care.
8. A confident person doesn’t need to show they are confident. Confidence is best displayed through your actions and behaviors and not through your words. Also be patient with yourself as you work on building a confident mindset. You may be confident in your career but lack confidence when dating. At another point in your life, you may be confident in your dating and relationship skills but suddenly seem less confident in your career. You might be confident in most situations but still struggle in other areas. An unexpected event can make your confidence slide at times. That’s completely okay. Just keep working on showing your confidence through your actions. Over time you will naturally see your confidence build.