Not everybody will like you. Not everyone will like me. Facing this reality can be difficult to accept. Many of us have countless examples of times where we changed our minds about someone else or when an enemy became a friend. Yet being disliked is something that none of us can avoid. There are many instances in life where a person will not like you.
There are some upsides to being disliked. Being disliked can actually be good for your life. Below are some good reasons on why being disliked is actually a good thing.
1. Being authentic means that some people will not like you. When you stay true to who you are, naturally some people will not like you. People disliking you because of your authentic self is actually a good thing. When you stay true to yourself, you will be more likely to attract genuine friendships. Trying to please everyone will put you at risk for attracting friendships with people that don’t like you for who you are.
2. You can invest your time and energy with people who genuinely like you. When you try to get everyone to like you, you’ll be investing more energy than you should into the wrong people. Nourishing your real friendships is what truly matters. By not focusing too much of your energy on people who dislike you, you can open yourself to people who actually like you.
3. You can interact with people without expectations. When you become focused on wanting people to like you, you focus more on gaining their validation rather than just enjoying the process of getting to know someone. I have a few people I speak to regularly who I know do not actually like me. Yet I can still treat these people with kindness, respect and compassion just because it is the right thing to do. I don’t have to be hostile because this person for one reason or another does not like me. I also don’t have to do nice things for this person or be someone I’m not to try to win their friendship.
4. You become comfortable with who you are. Allowing yourself to be disliked opens up more room for you to enjoy being yourself. Trying to please other people can be exhausting. You might find that you spend too much time thinking about what other people are thinking about you and trying to wear too many masks around people. When you stay authentic to who you are, you begin to feel more comfortable with who you are. Being comfortable in your own skin is a very liberating feeling. Give yourself the gift of freedom by staying authentic.
5. You save time, money and energy. Trying to please others puts you in an awful position of always giving. If someone doesn’t like you, you’ll continue giving your time and energy to get this person to like you. When someone doesn’t respond to your messages, you might find that you keep sending more messages to try and reach a response. You set yourself up for failure. You set yourself up for loneliness, stress, exhaustion and not being able to care for yourself. When you accept being disliked, you give yourself permission to stop trying so hard. As a result, you reserve your energy, time and money for the things and people that deserve that energy.
6. You uphold your values. When you try to please other people you may bend a bit on your values. Your opinions may be more flexible to accommodate a person who has completely different beliefs to you. By trying to please others, you start to lose sense of what is right for you and end up doing things that you may perceive as wrong or misaligned with your core values.
7. You can set clear boundaries with people. When you focus on pleasing people, your boundaries tend to go to the wayside. You might end up saying yes more often to things that you really don’t want to do. You may allow people to treat you with disrespect to allow that person to like you. There may be cases where you even give people things or opportunities that they do not deserve so that these people can like you. When you accept that sometimes people will dislike you, you can set and maintain clear boundaries.
8. You can accept that people disliking you is normal. Everybody has critics or people who don’t understand, agree or support their life choices. The people who are often most successful and fight to make a difference are often the ones who receive the most criticism. Not everyone will understand your motivations or get you. Yes, people disliking you can feel hurtful but it is a normal part of life. As you start to accept the reality that not everyone will like you, you’ll start to maintain a positive attitude even when you face criticism.
9. You can keep an open mind to criticism. People disliking you can have an added benefit of teaching yourself about some of your own weaknesses. Years ago, I knew someone who didn’t like me because she felt I was a bit stuck up. I did not agree with this person at all and certainly didn’t feel like I was full of myself. However, understanding why someone disliked me allowed me to reassess behaviors that may be coming across the wrong way. By trying to understand why someone felt I was stuck up, I started to see ways in which my actions could be misinterpreted. When you focus on trying to make someone like you, you may miss some opportunities for learning about who you are. Not everyone will dislike you for a reason that makes sense or is useful to you. However, when you accept that people will dislike you, you allow yourself to be open to what the critics are saying about you. Again much of that feedback may not be applicable to you, but some of the feedback will be useful. When you keep an open mind you’ll learn how to filter out constructive feedback from the criticism that is not applicable to you.
As you accept that not everyone will like you, you’ll start to attract like minded people who genuinely enjoy being around you. In what was has accepting that not everyone will like you impacted your life?