Many of us can relate to the feeling of our life not being successful or working out the way we planned. Even when we are accomplishing so much, there’s still that fear that maybe this is it, this is all you can accomplish or that you haven’t yet succeeded in life. Some of us blame our lack of feeling successful on our jobs or other external things. Music might be your passion but you are stuck working full-time to not be able to take being a musician seriously. Or maybe you are pursuing your passion of being a musician but you feel like fear of failure, not being able to pay the bills or having a security blanket is preventing you from becoming successful in your musical endeavors.
1. Cultivate inner strength. Looking for strength and validation from other people will likely fail you at some point. It feels great to hear people impressed and publicly stating that you made it, you are indeed a success and that your life seems wonderful. However, there will be many areas in your life where you will not get a pat on the back. Being an awesome employer may not be noticed by anyone outside your boss, and sometimes not even your boss will take notice. Your writing, music or passion may not be noticed by people. There will be times where you even face criticism or people will tell you to give up. External validation will fail you at some point or another. Work on nurturing your own inner strength so that you are always aware of how successful your life is without relying on positive input from others.
2. Work on disillusionment. We all have beautiful illusions about what success means and how to maintain success. Some common illusions are the belief that we are in complete control of our lives. True, we have some control but you cannot control every outcome that happens to you. For instance, some people incorrectly believe that if you aren’t a success by an individual’s standards then that is your own fault. That is not the case as many things are outside of our control such as a job laying you off, a partner committing an infidelity or health issues.
Another common illusion is the belief that we will feel successful once we achieve an accomplishment. Sure, after accomplishing something you will likely feel great, which is wonderful. You should feel good about your accomplishments. However, that feeling is temporary. Let go of the illusion that everything will be great once you achieve an accomplishment. Letting go of illusions allows you to view the world realistically and realize that you are in complete control of your own inner peace.
3. Take risks. You might feel stuck because you aren’t being true to your authentic self. Personally, when I feel like my life is stuck, I realize that I’m not following my heart. Taking risks can be scary but by always playing it safe and never doing what you want, you’ll never be moving down the path you truly want to go. Take risks and try something different. Keep in mind that taking risks might also involve you being honest with yourself. Denying yourself of what you truly want will only keep you feeling stuck. Being unable to let go of the things that are holding you back will also keep you firmly stuck. Take risks and start doing things that bring your life contentment and joy.
4. Redefine success. Try to not let society or other people define what success looks like to you. Chasing after the dream of being a millionaire because you feel that is what you should want, can actually make you feel even more stuck. Believing you have to live a life based on what success means to the people around you, will only encourage you to manage your life around the expectations of others and not yourself. Spend some time thinking about what a successful life looks like to you. Personally, success for me means a life that is simple, doing good for others, having healthy relationships with my loved ones and continuing to actively do things that bring joy to my life. Staying true to myself helps me have inner peace. Define what success means to you and only you.
5. Nourish your relationships. Chasing after success is often about our own ego. Seeking success means that often times your focus is on your own life and you may view other people as competition or a measure against your own life. For instance, your friend just got promoted and instead of feeling happy for her, you feel envious and start to compare her accomplishments to yours. Be aware of how chasing after success and dreams can sometimes have a negative impact on your relationships. The relationships you have with loved ones are very important. You can chase after success forever, but your support network will be with you through the challenging and joyous periods of life.
6. Find happiness in what you do. There will be moments in life where you may not be working your dream job or may not be at a place that you are completely happy with. Life is truly what you make of it. Find the happiness in your life now. Happiness doesn’t happen for people when their life is just perfectly right. If that was the case, a large majority of the world would be deeply unhappy. Your life doesn’t have to be perfect or going exactly as you dreamed for you to feel peace and happiness. Happiness is a choice so choose to be happy in what you do. This doesn’t mean that you lie to yourself or can’t admit you want more, but it does mean that you find the good in all situations. For instance, I may not have my dream job but my job allows me the security and finances to pursue my other passions. Without my job I wouldn’t be able to do the things that made me happy. My life may not be what I imagined it would be, but I am very happy with how my life has turned out even if it isn’t what I expected.
7. Success is more than just money and your career. Success almost seems synonymous with money. Many of us think of a successful person as someone who is wealthy. Success involves far more than just making a good living for yourself. Be careful of neglecting other things such as your health, personal relationships and your passions. For instance I know someone who is addicted to working. He often loses sleep to work throughout the night and refuses to take a holiday so that he can further his business goals. He makes a great deal of money, far more than I can imagine to make. However, his life seems all about money and working hard. He doesn’t take care of himself and his health suffers. His relationships suffer as he focuses more on work and less about family, friendships and the people in his life. Chasing after success can have the side effect of making you forget the things that do matter in your life. Success is more about just money so make sure you are making time for your health, relaxation, other passions, relationships and room for inner peace.
8. Try to not get distracted by the end goal, and focus on the journey. Success is mistakenly seen as an end goal. Many of us glamourize the life of the rich, famous and so on. However, success is often not about the end goal but about the journey of getting there. Although you may not be at a place you are truly content with, find contentment in the fact that you are actively working to build a good and authentic life for yourself. You are on a journey to find inner peace in this world.