My weight has unfortunately been something I’ve spent far too much thinking about in my life. As a child, I was overweight for my age. It wasn’t always that way but around the age of twelve I found myself very overweight and would constantly compare myself to other people who were thinner than me and spend countless hours trying to find ways to drop weight. About a year after focusing too much on my weight, I dropped close to twenty pounds, learned to apply makeup and decided to braid my hair. People at school didn’t recognize me once the school year started. I had literally made a transformation in that year and had kept that weight off until university. Once college started, my yoyo of weight changes started to happen. For over several years I would put on twenty pounds of weight, and lose much of the weight during the summer months when I went home. This cycle was unhealthy and I had formed an inaccurate belief that I could eat whatever I wanted, gain as much weight as I wanted and lose it using poor dieting and extreme cardio. I would spend months feeling terrible about myself because of the weight gain and how I looked in the mirror. As a result I lacked confidence to do many things in my life because of how I perceived myself and placed far too much value on my physical appearance.
Fortunately, later in my twenties, I corrected this way of thinking and realized that loving, appreciating and valuing my body, meant taking care of my physical and mental health. Feeling good about myself had nothing to do with a number on a scale, which size pants I could fit into or how I compared to other people. Body acceptance encompassed something else entirely. I realized that my value as a person has nothing to do with how I look or what size I am.
Accept and embrace your uniqueness. You have something about you that makes you positively attractive whether that’s your smile, skin, the way you seem to light up the room or something else completely. Your beauty goes beyond the way you look physically as well. Embrace your inner beauty as well. Yes, everyone has flaws and imperfections but even your imperfections are beautiful to others. I personally used to always dislike my smile. I’m not sure why growing up I always hated the way I looked when I smiled, but now I love smiling and realize that my smile is beautiful. I used to always dislike my hair too. With my multi-ethnic hair, it’s always been a huge struggle to find the best way to take care of my hair and style it appropriately. Now I’ve embraced my hair texture and realize that although it has its challenges, I wouldn’t change my hair type at all. I’m learning to appreciate my body more and more, especially as I get older and watch as my body actively changes due to exercise, strengthening and general aging.
Focus on your inner beauty. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be satisfied with how you physically look, but many people spend far too much time thinking about their looks rather than their mind, spirit and general energy and attitude towards life. How much money do people spend on a gym membership, plastic surgery, clothing, cosmetics and hair styling? Many people can spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars to look a certain way. However, these same people may not spend much of their time, resources or energy into developing their mind, learning new skills, establishing healthy behaviors, or cultivating and maintaining positive relationships. Ultimately what matters the most is how you feel about yourself and how you make others feel around you. The way you look will always change and doesn’t matter as much as the stuff that makes up your personality and attitude about life. You are far more than your physical body. It’s okay to want to feel good about your physical body, but remember that taking care of your soul and mind is more important.
Update your clothes to ones that fit you and make you feel good. Instead of holding onto clothes that fit you perfectly years ago, donate those clothes to a charity and upgrade your wardrobe. Find clothes that look flattering on you and make you feel good about yourself. Over your lifetime, you will most likely gain or lose weight due to varying reasons such as building muscle, changing exercise routines, different life priorities or major life changes such as pregnancy. The importance of making sure your wardrobe encompasses who you are today cannot be understated. Upgrade your wardrobe appropriately so that no matter which stage in life you are right now, you will continue to feel good about your body rather than comparing your body to a few years back when you were a different size. Try to avoid the temptation of holding onto clothes in case you can fit again. Collect all those old clothes and donate them to a charity to others who need them right now. Your wardrobe can continuously be updated as your body changes over time.
Focus on the capability of your body. Your body serves a greater purpose than just how you physically look to others. Doing yoga, hiking and running has helped me appreciate the fact that I have a healthy body that can adapt and become stronger. Instead of focusing on how toned I look or how I look in different clothes, I focus on how good I feel when I climb a flight of stairs, appreciate the fact that I can walk to work painlessly and can run on a beautiful sunny day with general ease. I’ve started to notice improvements in my hand-eye coordination, reflexes and how comfortable I feel within my own body. Even when things don’t feel easy for my body or I feel fatigued, I’m appreciating the fact that my body can become more flexible and stronger in time. My body is far more than its shell. Your body allows you to get around, browse the computer, create something amazing and give others support and love. Appreciate what your body allows you to do so that you can have a peaceful life.
Listen to your body. When I was volunteering in India last year, I realized that I was a bit out of whack with my body. I had always developed a habit of eating at certain times, regardless of if I was hungry or not. During my volunteer stint in India, food was provided to me by my host family who served breakfast, lunch and dinner at times that best suited them. As a result, I learned what it felt like to eat when you are hungry rather than to eat when I feel like it. Once my volunteering ended, I realized the importance of eating when I was hungry, sleeping when I felt tired (rather than staying up much later), exercising when I knew my body needed to be active and resting when my body needs to recover.
Do things that you love. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Focusing too much energy on how you look, takes away energy from your passions, hobbies and interests. Also, don’t stop yourself from trying something new because of how you look. You can take that martial arts, yoga, acting, comedy or painting class today. Your appearance should have nothing to do with doing something you love. Set aside your feelings about how you look on the outside and focus on doing things that make you feel good about life. You will notice that the more time you invest doing things you love, the less time you will have to focus on insignificant things such as your appearance.
Be vulnerable with others. Share your insecurities with people you trust and support you or in a place such as a forum with a kind community. Don’t use this as an opportunity to dwell on what you perceive as flaws or make yourself feel worse. Instead, use this as an opportunity to share your insecurities and realize that you are not alone. The one thing I’ve learned is that almost everybody has something that they don’t like about their body. Everybody has battled with some insecurity. You might realize that person you think is gorgeous feels insecure about her nose or her hair. The person you admire for their muscular physique may struggle with insecurities too. Realizing you are not alone in these insecurities will help you realize that perfection does not exist and that people can be happy with their bodies despite these beliefs about their imperfections.
Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Instead of focusing on how you look, focus on how you feel. Make positive changes in your life by embracing healthy habits so that you wake up feeling energized, receive peaceful sleep, obtain adequate nutrition and maintain a healthy body. Change your diet so that you eat enough throughout the day, get your daily amount of nutrition and give your body the energy it deserves. Do moderate amounts of exercise several times a week so that you can reap the mental and physical benefits of being active. Give your body the respect and love it deserves by treating your body well.
Remember that your value and worth as a person has nothing to do with how you look. Everybody has a unique body shape and size. There is no reason to try to attain a sense of perfection that doesn’t even exist. Work on adopting healthy habits so you feel great and can enjoy life without focusing on how you look on the outside. The bonus of respecting and loving yourself, is that you naturally will look better and feel better about yourself as a result.