Some of us live our lives by simply just surviving and staying alive. The days seem to fly by, turning quickly into weeks, months and years without any excitement to keep us going. The crazy thing about feeling bored in life, is that life offers us a tremendous amount of things to do, see and experience. Many people around the world have the opportunity and the means to discover a new part of their town, learn a new skill or make new friends but somehow even these opportunities can make us feel bored or unexcited about life.
Why does this happen you might be asking? How can you live life, actively doing things and experiencing things but feel so empty and bored with it all? You might even feel tired throughout the day and just a general lack of enthusiasm. You might even have a life that seems great by comparison to the people around you such as having a loving family, good health and a stable job but you still feel an emptiness inside you.
Yet other people seem to be excited by so many things in the world ranging from visiting a new city to exploring a park local to their hometown.
What can you do to try and fix this discontentment and apathy towards life? Below are some tips that might give you a good step in the right direction.
1. Take care of your physical health. A major component to why you might feel unexcited about life could have to do with how you are taking care of yourself. In the past, when I was overweight and approaching obesity, I felt tired all the time. I physically felt older than I was and everything felt more difficult. Going to work felt like a nightmare each day. All I had energy for was lying in bed, eating and doing the basic things I needed to do to get through the day. My mood and attitude was negative and nothing seemed to help such as socializing or hobbies. Unfortunately, even exercising felt too hard. I found a way to lose weight which was by taking long walks. As the pounds and kilos dropped from my body, my energy naturally increased. I could start doing high-intensity cardio with ease. I felt more confident about myself. I can probably count the days on one hand where it’s been tough getting out of bed in the past several months because overall, I feel pretty good when I wake up in the morning.
I know that finding the dedication to be healthy can be tough initially but your health could be a huge reason on why you feel apathy about life. You don’t have to make huge life changes all at once but try to make take simple steps. Incorporate a walk each day. Dedicate a couple of days during the week where you will strive to eat healthy. Limit the amount of sweet or alcoholic beverages you consume during the week. Most likely you will find that your mood and attitude about life improves dramatically as you prioritize your physical health.
2. Find something that brings you enjoyment in life, no matter how small, and do it. Life doesn’t have to always be hard or feel like a struggle. I understand that there are phases in life where you need to stick with a horrible job to gain that work experience, develop your portfolio, pay the bills, support your family or to give yourself more time to find a better job. There will be phases where life is a struggle due to juggling priorities or trying to accomplish something you need in your life. Life isn’t easy and there will be days where it feels hard.
Yet, you can always afford yourself something to enjoy in life. This can be something big or small. In India, I volunteered with a man who was making weight loss a huge priority in his life and had dropped close to 100 pounds in the past year! The one thing he said he will not sacrifice is dessert. He changed his diet to eat healthy most days, but still allowed himself to have a small slice of dessert each day. Saving money might be a huge priority to you right now, but you can still do something small each day to give yourself happiness. I’m not sure what that is for you, but for some people that might be treating themselves to a trip, having a night out at the pub with friends, playing a game or spending time each day to work on something you are passionate about.
3. Identify your values and specifically what makes you happy. The problem with feeling envious over what your friends and family seem to be doing on social media or how they spend their lives, is because their activities are not reflective of your values. I absolutely love spending days hiking, sometimes up to 20 kilometres a day or more. Someone might see me hiking and say that sounds fun, but realistically, many people would hate spending an entire day hiking outdoors. I have friends who love pub crawls and drinking for hours one or two days during the weekend and that’s just not my scene. One of my closest friends hates traveling overseas and would prefer to just stick in his home country, which is something I have a difficult time relating to. My point is that we have different values in life.
Just because something sounds cool or fun, doesn’t mean it’s fun to you. Why force yourself to do something just because other people tell you that you should or because you read somewhere that you absolutely should do this to be happy? It’s important to be honest with yourself and just say that this isn’t for you. I strongly encourage that you try new things but if you don’t like something and it’s not something you value or care about, then you don’t need to keep doing it. And more importantly, it’s necessary for you to be honest with what you are passionate about. If you love writing, then write. Don’t stop just because you don’t think you will publish a book or because you think you are a bad writer. Your passions are a gateway into what makes you excited about life. Do not ignore that pull no matter what. Follow your passions and interests.
4. Make a schedule for the day and follow it. When you feel unenthused about life you might find yourself getting excited by activities and hobbies for a brief time and then suddenly quitting. Many people quit because they wake up one morning and just don’t feel like it. Going to the class seems too hard and you come up with a million excuses to not go. Feeling motivated about everything you do in life just isn’t going to happen. The majority of runs that I do, I’m just not feeling it. When I start, the first couple of miles are tough but then suddenly I feel great, am happy I’m running and excited once I get going. The same thing happened during improv classes. I felt there were so many days where I just didn’t want to go. Maybe work was stressful or I just wanted to go home and relax for the rest of the day. Yet, I’d push myself to go to the class and after the initial ten minutes where I wasn’t in the mood, suddenly I’d feel good about being there and was happy I went.
Motivation is not a 100% guarantee, even when you are passionate about something you are doing. There will be days where it’s tough doing something that you know is beneficial for your life. If you find yourself in a cycle of committing to things, feeling good about doing those things and then for one reason or another quitting, then it may be important to create a daily schedule. Wake up each morning and remind yourself of what is important for you to accomplish today whether that’s exercise, reading, spending time on a passion or hobby or finishing something important at work. A schedule keeps you centered on what you need to accomplish today. The motivation may not be there every day but the dedication and persistence will carry you through. You will start to form a habit of knowing that you will feel good doing something important to you, even if you initially don’t feel good when you start.
5. You must act and make a change. Your lack of enthusiasm about life could be a signal from your body that something isn’t right about this situation. Change must happen. You must keep trying no matter how tempting it can feel to quit. Change is scary. Doing something different and outside your comfort zone isn’t pleasant most of the time. Yet, doing the same thing every day and always doing something comfortable will have a tremendous influence on your attitude about life. When you do the same thing every single day, and stay within your comfort zones, you will find that nothing really changes. The only way to grow and improve your attitude is by doing something different. Make a choice to take action and do something different, even if it feels scary and uncomfortable. Take small steps if you need to or jump in and do something completely different.
6. Acknowledge if you are burnt out. You might have the problem of having too many things in your schedule. Maybe you work too much and have no energy to do anything once you get home. Maybe family life is tiring you out and with the children, chores and doing everything else you find that you barely have a few minutes to yourself. Everyone can get burnt out and it’s important to know when you absolutely need a break. Take a day off and treat yourself to a 3 day weekend. Choose to not work late certain days of the week. Ask for help at home, work or at school. Ask your family or partner for help with the family for just a day so you can get time to yourself to relax. Get a babysitter if you need to. The key to you feeling more excited about life could be just giving yourself a break when you are burnt out. And always ask for help when you need it. If you are tired of doing all the housework at home, ask your partner to help out, even just for a little bit so that you can get the relaxation time you need.
7. Say yes to social invitations. You might be able to relate to the situation where your friends are reaching out to you but you always have an excuse to not go. Maybe you even say you will be coming and have every intention to spend time with your friends but when the day rolls around, you would rather stay at home and do nothing. Everyone needs the occasional day to chill at home, but this should not be a consistent excuse that you use with your friends. Maintaining and nurturing your support network is essential. Spending quality time with your family is important. Your life will become much more exciting when you push yourself to go and spend time with people. If you have a problem with what they are doing, invite your friends out instead. Host a game night if you would prefer to relax at home with friends than go to a party with people you don’t know. Invite your friends out to a restaurant or bar you have been dying to check out. Either way, prioritize your social interactions and say yes to going out and/or invite your friends out if you have a fun idea in mind.
8. Look at how you manage your finances. A big barrier to not being able to pursue the things you want in life, could be money. But how are you spending money? When you get a bonus from work are you more likely to store this in your savings account or go on a spending spree for clothes? If you find that a lack of money is the main reason you feel bored, then figure out what you can change in your lifestyle to free up money for splurge. When I was younger, people would often ask me how I could afford to travel so much. I wasn’t making a high income or living in poverty. My family never gave me money. I just budgeted for travel from my own income. In other words, I spent less on take out, alcohol, bought new clothes sparing and basically lived frugally because those material items had very little value to me. Those little purchases can amount to hundreds of dollars over a given month! Altogether, spending less on those things, frees up thousands of dollars to spend on a holiday or invest over a given year. Buying a new dress didn’t do much for my contentment with life as much as exploring something new around me. If you want to take a class, go on a holiday or just splurge a little, then see what sacrifices you can make financially. You don’t even need to view them as sacrifices, just compromises that you make to do things that are valuable to you yet still allow you to attain a content and peaceful lifestyle.
9. Find your passions again. You might be unenthusiastic about your partner, friendships, career or even the city you live in. Even things we love can get boring. It’s easy to take for granted the people who love you the most and the things that we genuinely care about. Before doing something rash like breaking up with your partner or relocating to a new city, refocus your energies on finding the passion in the things you enjoy. For instance, I have a few people in my life who hated their job and what they were doing. Instead of ditching the job entirely, they realized that switching departments, managers or requesting to work on more interesting projects was the solution they needed to feel happy about their career again. Same goes with your relationships. Go on fun dates again, compliment your loved one, do something kind and remind yourself of all the ways that you love this person. Spend time with your children by playing with them and having fun. Get invested in their hobbies and the things they feel passionate about. In your city, check out new places. Go to a festival nearby, try going to a new restaurant or try getting lost again in your city. Doing these things can help you feel more excited about the things you most likely are taking for granted. Saying that, even with the amount of effort you put in a relationship, job or city, things may still not work out. That’s okay. If something isn’t working out, no matter how much energy you put into making things better, then that may be a sign that it’s time for you to move on to something different.
10. Work on self-acceptance and self-love. When you feel bored about life, those negative attitudes often extend to how you perceive yourself. Each day remind yourself of something you like and love about yourself. Focus on techniques to help strengthen how much you care and accept yourself. Changing a negative perception of yourself doesn’t happen overnight but is a necessary step to feel that zest for life again. Your perception of the world around you starts and ends with you. Focus on the root of the problem by changing how you perceive yourself. Self-defeating thoughts only rob you of your peace of mind and happiness.
11. Let those who love you, know who you are. You don’t have to battle this lack of excitement about life alone. Share your struggles with your partner and close friends and family members. You might be surprised about how people want to encourage and support you, and that other people have dealt with similar feelings as well. Be vulnerable and connect with your loved ones.
12. Step away from technology. Take a break from social media, seriously. Part of the problem you might have with feeling bored about life is feeling glued to the television, computer and your phone. How do you spend most of your day? If you are browsing on your smartphone while on public transport, watching shows and movies constantly at home and browsing social media during the moments in between, then this has a negative impact on your perception of the world. Instead of enjoying the things happening in your life right now, you are spending too much time comparing your life to others and see how many followers and likes you can get. You don’t have to give technology up entirely but take a break and set aside technology so you can enjoy the moment without an influx of notifications taking you away from what you are doing.
13. Don’t blame others for the discontentment in your life. Blaming others for the pain in your life may be an easy explanation, but ultimately you are the one in control. It might be easy to complain to your boyfriend that you are bored or use the children as an excuse on why you can’t do anything you enjoy, but those are just excuses. Other people are not the reason you feel unfulfilled in life. They really aren’t. You are in control and you have to take matters in your own hand, no matter how challenging it seems at times.
14. Fill your life with purpose. The best way to spend your time is by doing things that add meaning and purpose to your life. If you don’t know what that is yet, a good place to start is by volunteering. Giving back to others who truly need your help can make you focus on doing meaningful work for others and how that reflects on your own life. Finding purpose can happen in other ways too. You might find meaning by playing a musical instrument or singing. Something that brings you purpose might come by spending quality time with your children and partner each day. Taking your dog for a walk may fill you with happiness and purpose.
15. Be appreciative of what you do have. Often, we already have beautiful, amazing and exciting things within our lives but we take those things for granted. Each day take note of the positive and wonderful things in your life. Celebrate the small successes and not just the big ones. Be thankful for everything you have including your health, relationships, friendships, family and the world around you. Take note of the little moments that fill you with joy such as making a child’s day by giving them a gift, taking photos of the things around you or having a laugh with your friends.
Being bored can be resolved by something as simple as exercise or a change in your schedule. You can do something grandiose like spend weeks backpacking overseas or have a picnic with your family. Remember the things that work for you may not work for others. Figure out what is valuable to you and follow your heart along the way. Get out there and start enjoying your life. Take the process day by day and be patient with yourself. Take small steps to bringing more excitement in your life and watch as your life gradually becomes more fulfilled.