Feeling like you don’t have your life figured out, can happen anytime in your life. Even when you feel like you have a handle on life and know your journey, things can happen that make you reflect and realize that you want different things in life. Sometimes you know there’s something you want in life but you haven’t figured out what that is yet. Or maybe you are just seeking something that makes you feel passionate and alive. The reality is that some of us will figure out our life purpose, passions and everything will seem to make sense. There will also be some of us that don’t have it figured out and that’s absolutely okay. Maybe there are parts of your life that make sense, but other parts where you feel like you are missing your calling in life.
The great thing about feeling like you have your life figured out, or not having that feeling, is that ultimately it doesn’t really matter. You can have a wonderful, enjoyable and satisfied life regardless if you have a direction in life or not. Sometimes you need to get lost along the way to discover what you want out of life. Below are some tips to help show you that it’s okay to not have your life figured out right now.
You can discover what you want out of life. Just because you feel aimless right now, doesn’t mean you will feel aimless forever. Try to not stress yourself out by focusing on what you are lacking right now and feeling like if you don’t figure this out, then you will be a failure. You don’t know what is in store for you tomorrow, a year from now or even further ahead. Even though right now you feel like you don’t have your life figured out, that doesn’t mean that you will never find your calling in life. For you, it might just take longer than you anticipated to figure out what you want in life. You might also have always known your path in life, but realized you aren’t content with how your journey has gone. That’s okay too. Sometimes the way to finding out your purpose is by pursuing other directions in life and realizing why the things you planned weren’t supposed to work out for you.
You may not have a lifelong plan and that’s more than okay. Don’t let a title or job define who you are. In our lifetime, we are very likely to change careers several times. That might mean that for the next decade you might be a doctor, and then maybe you will switch into a management role in a corporate company and then maybe you will end up being a mentor before retirement. Who knows! Your priorities will change as well. What gives you meaning will change as you live independently, try different hobbies, meet new people, find a life partner or become a parent or grandparent. Anything can happen and there’s no reason you need to have the rest of your life planned from the moment you reach adulthood.
You are not alone. Part of the reason not having your life figured out can be so scary, is because of the incorrect belief that you are falling behind your peers. What if you knew that many people felt the exact same way you do? Truthfully, there are many people in the world who feel like you. Even the person who seems like they have their whole life figured out, might surprise you with a career change, relocating halfway around the world or going back to college. Everybody struggles with understanding how their life should look. Even the person who planned their whole life and is staying on track, occasionally has doubts about their journey and if it’s time to rethink how their life looks. I know that right now you may feel alone in your struggles, but trust me, there are many people who feel exactly like you do.
Sometimes to find out who you are, you must let go of what others think you should be. One of the biggest barriers I had to overcome for my personal growth was latching onto ideas about myself because of what people thought of me. Growing up, I dealt with feeling like I wasn’t independent, good enough at certain skills or that certain careers were good for me based on what people thought of me. As I approached adulthood, moved across the country and floundered my way through early adulthood, I realized that I had to go back and start from scratch. I had to stop caring about what people thought of me and focus instead on what I thought about myself. I had to challenge myself, work hard and do things that were out of the box. Your path might be similar. You might have loved ones who push their ideas onto you about who you are, what you can do and who you should be. But ultimately, you are the one who truly knows yourself. Not having life figured out can put you on an amazing journey where you can discover who you really are without trying to meet the expectations of others.
You can explore different opportunities and experiences. One of the best things about not having a plan, is that there is nothing stopping you from doing something different that seems interesting. Sometimes people find out what they want in life by trying something new and realizing that it’s a fit. You may not know what job you want to do, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to explore different careers and taking a job as a web developer, bartender, tutor or a random office job. You might decide to relocate and live in a different city nearby or live overseas. You can choose to take classes to find out what sparks your interest the most. Being aimless doesn’t mean that your life is on hold. Use this time to try different things, meet new people, learn something new and gain new skills along the way.
Finding what makes you feel alive typically takes trial and error. Many people mistakenly believe that there will be this moment where you just know and feel an overwhelming sense of purpose. That may happen for a few people in the world, but for many of us, you need to explore, try different things and make mistakes along the way. The more you explore different paths in life, you will come closer to being grateful for what is already present in your life and finding things that make you feel alive and happy with your own life. The journey takes time and there will be roadblocks along the way, but as you embrace the ups and downs, you will realize that this journey is leading you somewhere and changing you in a positive and powerful way.
Don’t worry about what other people think about you. As worried as you may feel about what your friends and family might think if you don’t choose a specific career, skip college or set off on a journey somewhere in the world, you need to let those worries go. People ultimately do not spend most of their time thinking about your life and how you spend it. Loved ones eventually come around once they see how much you are staying true to yourself and enjoying life along the way. Life goes on for everyone. People have their own worries to focus on. Live your life and set forward on your journey regardless of what the people around you are doing.
Listen to your inner voice. When you feel lost, one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is simply listen. Listen to yourself when you feel something isn’t quite right anymore. Maybe you feel unhappy spending time with certain people or feel like you don’t have much in common with them anymore. Perhaps your job has been a huge source of stress and anxiety and you can’t remember the last time you had peaceful rest. Or maybe you feel unchallenged and you know something must change. Whatever you do, don’t ignore that inner voice. Listen to your voice and make a positive change in your life.
Everything is okay. No matter how you feel right now, stay calm. Everything is okay and will be okay. Having a direction in life isn’t mandatory. For all you know, maybe not having it figured out is the best thing for you right now. Maybe this is time for you to meet new people, explore yourself, take chances on new opportunities and take risks. Take the road less travelled and see what happens. Continue this incredible journey of life and see what happens. Enjoy the experience along the way and try not to focus on a sense of having your life figured out. Decide what to do next and life has a funny way of falling into place once you make a choice. One day you will stop feeling lost but that only comes with experience and time.