I’m sure you have heard yourself or someone say, “I’m so busy that I just don’t have time for that” or “I wish I could do X but I’m too busy with Y and Z to even think about doing any of X.” Many of us make excuses or justify reasons to not do what we want because of how busy we are. Just recently I had a friend who has not traveled in over 10 years and consistently justifies that by saying how busy he is with his degree and full-time job. Some of us even feel guilt at taking time to relax, feeling like you should be doing something better and more worthwhile than relaxing. However, guilt is the feeling you should not be feeling when relaxing. Everyone needs time for themselves, time to reflect and think, time to focus and do things that will make them happy and add value to their life. If you find yourself always telling yourself and others that you are too busy, then read these tips on how to un-busy yourself.
Being busy has positive associations. Some of us view being busy as a sign of our own self worth. Suddenly being anything but busy is a sign that your own life is not productive enough or that you aren’t filling your day up with fun, educational and interesting things all the time. In other words, some of us are addicted to being busy and tell ourselves that being busy is what we need to have value and to be happy. Being busy is not a sign that you are a happier or worthwhile person. Sometimes being busy can be a sign that you are spreading yourself too thin and are not committing yourself enough to things that make you happy and things you must do. Being busy also distracts you from life. Time will go by quickly by being busy and you won’t have enough time to truly enjoy and appreciate that time.
You choose to be busy. Many people who say they are busy say it as if they have no control. In reality we choose our schedules and how we prioritize things. Some of us have developed a negative habit of being unable to say no or feeling pressure to do things that are simply optional. As a result our lives become busier because we choose to be busy.
Evaluate your priorities. Being constantly busy tends to happen from priorities being misplaced. Think about what is a priority. How much time do you devote to each activity? What is something that can be less of a priority in your own life? Being busy often has a way of reducing time for the things that are important while investing more times in things that are less important. Priorities can change as well. Perhaps making time for your family was not as important to you as it is now. Perhaps devoting time to work made sense when trying to attain a promotion but does not make much sense now. Perhaps your connections with friends are diminishing and you need time to re-connect with them. Revisit your priorities so that you can know which ones should be higher and lower in your life. Get in the habit of revisiting your priorities regularly.
Take breaks. Stopping yourself from being busy can be difficult to do at first. One of the best methods for taking more time to be less busy is by scheduling breaks. Look for opportunities to relax, find some solitude and take a break. Even in a busy work day you should be able to fit in a ten minute break at some point and be able to take a lunch break as well.
Relax when taking breaks. Actually shut off completely when taking a break. Step away from the computer and the phone. Take proper time to eat and enjoy your meals.
Say no more often. I used to have this problem quite a bit in the past. I felt almost a sense of guilt or regret when turning down an opportunity at work, school or with friends. Every invitation for something else seemed like an opportunity that I had to grasp every time. However, by not saying no, I committed to things that didn’t matter that much and spent less time on things that did matter.
You aren’t missing out. Another common issue with being busy is the belief that we may be missing out. Life seems incomplete if we don’t go to that party or if we don’t take that class right now. Fortunately that’s just not true. The truth is that nobody is able to do everything in the world. There is just not enough time to be able to make time for everything. Yes, that does mean that there are some things we are missing out on, but by maintaining our priorities we aren’t missing out on much and are putting a solid amount of time and effort into things that do matter and add value to our lives.
Stop focusing on pleasing other people. Being busy can stem from an unhealthy need to make everybody happy. You feel guilt to turn down an invitation to your friend’s party and constantly worry that not going will make you look bad. You worry that turning down an offer to write a review on a colleagues book will look like an insult to their work. You worry that missing a day to see your mother and instead resting will make your mother very upset and you’ll feel like a bad son. You need time to rest to have valuable interactions with loved ones. If you are constantly busy you will not fully be there when spending time with people. You’ll end up not giving your all and your best to someone else. Take time to rest allows you to recharge and fully enjoy the experiences you do have with loved ones.
Focus on one thing at a time. Being busy can stem from trying to focus on too many things at once. Multi-tasking on different projects can leave you consumed with constantly be busy. Trying to reply to emails and text messages while socializing with a friend can leave you neglecting both parties.
What are some things you can do to clear out your schedule and leave room for relaxation and focus on things that matter? I’d love to hear from you so please leave your comments below.