From a very young age, many of us are encouraged to find our passion. As a child we are asked what we want to be when we group up. Throughout adolescence we are encouraged to find that one thing we love. As a young adult the pressure to find a passion and ensure your career has something to do with that passion increases tremendously. Unfortunately, many of us are constantly searching for that passion until much later in life. Some of us have found that passion, and then realized we weren’t so passionate about it later which can lead to what feels like an endless cycle of always searching for a passion.
Constantly searching for a passion can feel discouraging and often make you feel like your life is incomplete or meaningless until you have found this passion. The good news is that this mentality of needing a passion isn’t realistic and doesn’t really result in happiness either. The process of constantly searching for a passion can feel exhausting. If you do have something in your life that you are passionate about, then that’s wonderful and definitely pursue that passion. However, if you are struggling to find your passion then this isn’t a reason to feel worried or stressed out. There’s nothing wrong with you just because you haven’t found that thing that makes you super excited. If anything, this is a good time for you to explore and be curious about things around you. Try different things and see what you like and what makes you excited. Below are some things to keep in mind when you are struggling to pinpoint the things you feel most passionate about in life.
Passions change. Have you ever been really interested in something before? Maybe you had a hobby that involved music and you absolutely loved it. Maybe you enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen and invested a huge amount of money and time into making exotic cuisines. Then one day, for no reason you can really explain, you just weren’t that into that hobby anymore. Sure maybe you were still good at this particular hobby. You still had the skills to be successful but doing this thing didn’t really give you any joy anymore. In other words, you just didn’t like doing this thing that you used to love. That’s completely normal. Passions work the same way. There are many examples of people who were successful at something, then for one reason or another, decided to change their trajectory and pursue another path. A passion is ultimately a feeling, and your feelings can and do change. Some people do have a lifelong passion that they never outgrow or feel bored by, but many people are passionate about something for a few years, then switch gears and are excited about something else later. Try to not get too focused on finding this one passion. Instead focus on finding things you enjoy doing and see where that takes you. Be open to the idea that you might have multiple passions in your life. There just isn’t one singular passion that you will have in your life.
A passion isn’t always permanent. Some people have a passion and never get tired of it. They love it for practically their whole lives. That’s great but for many people a passion is fleeting and doesn’t stick for your whole life. Just because you were passionate about something once and became disinterested in it, doesn’t mean that you never found your passion. You found your passion and it had it’s place in your life and now you are moving forward to something else. Try to not cause yourself unnecessary stress just because a passion doesn’t last forever.
A passion doesn’t have to be profitable. There is a good chance that you already have a hobby you love and enjoy. It’s possible that you have found your passion but you discount it, because you don’t see a way that you can make money out of this passion. Realistically, most people cannot make money out of their passion to sustain a comfortable lifestyle. A passion could be a side job or a hobby but doesn’t have to be your primary source of income. And why should it be? Even if you found a job that you loved, there is a good chance that there will be days where you just don’t want to come to work, where you feel exhausted, bored, or don’t want to deal with the people at your job. There will be good days and bad days, regardless if your career involves your passion. Chasing after a job where you feel enthusiastic all the time, always happy and don’t have any bad days is pretty much chasing a fantasy. It’s just not going to happen. Keep in mind that passion doesn’t have to be something you make a career out of. You can pursue a wonderful passion outside of work or who knows, maybe it will become a career one day in the future, but don’t discount your passions just because it’s not bringing in money for you right this very moment. Your passion may be politics but you decided to pursue accounting. Right now, having a career in politics may not be feasible but if being involved in politics is important then there’s nothing stopping you from getting involved right now. Who knows what career opportunities will happen for you in the future, but for now, stay invested in your passion even when you aren’t making money out of it.
You believe a passion should be clearly defined. A passion isn’t always easy to define. One of my passions is to help others. That’s pretty vague but it’s very true. I absolutely love giving to others and helping people. I could be happy organizing a fundraiser, volunteering overseas or domestically or doing work for a non-profit. What makes you happy and excited? You may not necessarily have a clear definition for your passion and that’s perfectly okay. A passion can be vague and a guideline on what things you should pursue to live authentically. There’s no rule that says a passion should be specific and clear. A passion could be a feeling or a broad category of overlapping things. Your passion could be your family, giving back to your community or learning new things. Just because your passion isn’t specific doesn’t mean it’s not your passion.
You aren’t accepting your passion. You probably have found something you are passionate about but simply ignore it or don’t accept it. Think about what you do in your spare time. What do you love reading about? What do you love doing? Who do you like spending your time with and why? What is something you can do and get lost in for hours. Your passion might be right in front of you but your expectations may be unrealistic. You might love teaching people and helping others gain new skills. This brings you joy. However, you ignore this passion because maybe you don’t have an education, maybe you don’t feel qualified enough to teach people or maybe you just focus on the fact that teaching this particular subject may not make you money. I know someone who is actively passionate about gaming. He loves playing video games and spends the majority of time gaming. This is what is passionate to him. He quit his job for a year just so he could create his own game. He knows that doing this may not make him any money, but he’s doing it because he wants to and he’s doing pretty well so far. He’s making the game, going to gaming conventions and doing the best he can even though he’s not making any money from it. Think about what you love doing and be honest with yourself and accept your passion. There’s little sense in chasing after a passion when you have already found it.
You are not trying to do something with your passion. Have you ever loved something but simply were too afraid to even try? Often times we may have found our passion but are just afraid to follow our passions. It’s easier to say we haven’t found our passion yet, because many of us believe following a passion should be easy. The majority of people who are successfully following their passions had a difficult and long journey ahead of them. It’s unrealistic to expect that just because you are passionate about something means that the journey will be painless and easy. If you are passionate about writing, you still need to write often, work hard on your writing and share your work with the world. You will be rejected, you will fail and you will have drafts that you throw out because they are terrible. That’s the process that every successful writer must go through. The process will be challenging but you must persevere and keep trying. Searching for a passion that seems easy and has a clear path to success is not realistic or authentic to yourself. A passion is often times tough work. The solution isn’t easy and you will often not know if you will fail or succeed. You may have your passion right in front of you but may be afraid of trying to do something with it. Instead of trying to find a passion that feels easy, accept that the things you love will often be hard to pursue.
You feel a passion should measure up to what you think others view as successful. Being successful in life is a completely personal feeling. Some people feel success when they have a job that helps them live a comfortable lifestyle while others feel success when they can travel regularly throughout the year. Some people value a simplistic life where they can pay their bills, feed their family and live comfortably while others prefer an exciting life filled with luxury. Everyone’s definition of success is personal and unique to them. You may be ignoring your passion because it doesn’t fit what you think others view as successful. Your passion could be to run faster and achieve your next personal best at a marathon but you may discount this passion because it doesn’t fit what your friends and family think a passion should be. Your passion could be to learn new languages but you feel you must do something else because your family and friends don’t seem to accept that as a passion. Think hard about the things that bring you joy and check if you are talking yourself out of a passion because you feel that it doesn’t measure up to what you think a successful life should look like. This is your life so it’s important to pursue the things that you genuinely love. Nobody else should tell you what your passion is, it’s up to you to decide what your passion is.
You ignore a passion because you think it’s not good enough. Have you ever been in a situation where what you thought you wanted was something you ended up not wanting at all? Maybe you thought the type of romantic partner you were seeking was someone exciting, spontaneous and fun but realized after dating those types that you preferred a partner with a different mix of traits. Maybe you got what you felt would be a dream job and then realized later that you didn’t really enjoy that type of work. The process of looking for a passion can be the same. You might have certain ideas of what your passion should be. Maybe you think your passion should be something you are always excited about, makes you tons of money and is something you will never fail at and be naturally skilled at. This is probably further from the truth. Your passion will most likely challenge assumptions you have about yourself.
You ignore your passion because you don’t think you are good enough. Again, you may assume that a passion should feel easy or something that you are naturally talented at. Some people are naturally talented at their passions while others have to work hard, struggle and get better over time. Some people have instant success with their ideas while most people have to try, fail and rinse and repeat until they succeed. You may have found your passion but have self-defeating thoughts about what you can accomplish. It can be easy to say you aren’t good at writing or drawing or don’t have the skills to start a successful business because of negative self-talk. You are good enough to accomplish your passion! Instead of dismissing your passion because you feel you aren’t smart enough or don’t have the resources to pursue your passion, instead figure out how you can obtain the skills and resources to pursue your passion.
Finding a passion doesn’t have to be something that you are constantly searching for. Truthfully, you may spend your whole life searching for this passion and being continually disappointed either because you aren’t accepting your passion or have unrealistic expectations about a passion being effortless, easy and requiring no hard work on your end. If you happen to be the type of person who has found your passion, then that’s great! Do what you can to live a life that incorporates this passion whether it’s a hobby, side job or your career. But if you are still searching for your passion, then be honest with yourself. Have you found your passion but you aren’t willing to accept the passion? And even if you haven’t found your passion yet, then that’s perfectly okay! Use this time to explore and be curious about the world. You have your whole life ahead of you! There’s no rule book that says every person must find their passion by a certain point in their life. What’s important is that you are continuing to develop yourself and explore new things that you find interesting. Eventually you will find the next thing you are passionate about or you will find something that you genuinely like doing and that adds value and happiness to your life. Stay open to the possibilities and don’t allow yourself to feel like there’s something wrong just because you haven’t found a passion yet.