Recently I completed a 12 day trek to Everest Base Camp Trek which was incredible. Before the trip I was worried about how strong and fit I was to successfully complete the trip. In general, I felt comfortable with my overall fitness levels and didn’t struggle with the hiking aspect of the trip. However, much of the challenge with reaching Everest Base Camp was mental strength. You need to be tough to complete Everest Base Camp. Beyond hiking for weeks, being mentally tough is important in many aspects of your life. Mental strength is essential to your career, maintaining healthy relationships and dealing with whatever challenge life will inevitably throw at you. The great thing about mental strength is that you can continually develop your toughness over time. The more you are exposed to tough situations, the tougher you will get as a result. Your mental strength can improve even without being exposed to adverse situations. A great way to improve your mental toughness is by setting high expectations for yourself. Even as you fail along the way, you will get stronger. You might find that your mental strength increases dramatically as you fail and learn to overcome your obstacles and try again.
Challenge yourself. You don’t need to wait for bad luck or be in bad situations to be mentally tough. Adverse situations are inevitable in life, but fortunately, you can develop a tough attitude without waiting for an unfortunate situation to occur. Compete with yourself. Set a goal that is high and do your best to reach it. Don’t be afraid to fail but be willing to stumble, make mistakes and try something different so you can reach your goal. Getting yourself accustomed to challenges will help you feel comfortable when unexpected obstacles arise. Challenging yourself doesn’t have to be intimidating. Signing up for the Everest Base Camp Trek was one way I challenged myself. I’ve also challenged myself by working to complete a half marathon. Beyond physical challenges, I’ve tried doing other things to set my expectations high and develop my mental strength. I’ve tried learning a difficult language, applying for a different job, volunteering in another country or taking on a responsibility that I had little experience in. Developing your mental strength doesn’t mean you need to wait for something challenging to happen to you. Take control and choose challenges that will reap rewards for your life, but you know will be difficult for you.
Embrace criticism. Almost everybody hates being on the receiving end of negative feedback. Most of us don’t feel comfortable hearing about our perceived weaknesses and would rather ignore criticism rather than embrace it. For years I dealt with the same problems, which had the same unpleasant and often heartbreaking results. Much of the time, I created my own heartache. Instead of focusing on my weaknesses, I tried to avoid the problem entirely and place little accountability on myself. It took me years to realize that I can’t control what problems I have in life, but I can control my choices, actions and reactions to those problems. As painful as it feels, take time to listen to criticism from others. You will better understand your weaknesses, and be able to transform them into strengths by listening to the feedback of others. Being open to criticism isn’t easy, but remind yourself that you are not defined by your weaknesses. Don’t judge or measure yourself based on the criticism you hear. Listen to the feedback, both positive and negative, and use that feedback to keep improving yourself.
You keep moving forward. What happens when you lack mental strength? Well you tend to quit, not make a solid effort or allow yourself to be defeated. Being tough doesn’t mean that you will never fail, never doubt yourself and will always reach your goal. Having mental strength doesn’t guarantee you success. However, being tough does mean that you will always move forward. You will learn from your failures. When an opportunity presents itself, you will be open to taking those opportunities. You may not achieve all your goals and dreams, but you will embark on an exciting journey filled with experiences that you never thought possible for yourself. Being tough means that no matter what obstacles happen in your life, you will keep persevering and taking steps forward. You trust that your situation will get better as long as you never quit.
You keep a positive outlook. Life will always have challenges and tough moments, but regardless of how hard life can become, you maintain a positive outlook. This doesn’t mean you are always happy or are the first one to smile in a difficult situation. Being tough doesn’t mean you don’t feel discomfort, unhappiness or frustration with life. Being tough means that even when things aren’t going well in life, you know that things can become better. There is still some silver lining ahead for you. You don’t assume that the future will be worse or that you have no options. Instead, you stay focused on moving forward and are open to opportunities that may improve your life.
You are aware of your emotions. When you don’t have a grasp on your emotions, your feelings can become intense and sometimes feel uncontrollable. Feelings of anger, frustration and sadness can feel much worse because you don’t have an awareness of your emotions. Instead of ignoring your emotions or being vague about how you feel, focus on labelling your emotions and being specific about your feelings. Mental strength requires you don’t give into those negative feelings and feel consumed by them. It’s okay to feel negative about things but don’t allow those negative emotions to lead you to say and do things that you deeply regret. Mental strength allows you to be aware and cope with your emotions successfully.
You set goals to manage your weaknesses. All of us have weaknesses that we need to deal with to become mentally stronger. Your weakness may be an addiction, an obsession with someone from the past, difficulties with setting boundaries for yourself or struggling to commit to a project. Whatever your weakness is, work on setting goals to challenge those weaknesses. Try to not get overwhelmed with what you need to work on. Pick one area you would like to work on and stick with that for now. Working on weaknesses is a journey and takes time. Don’t rush the process but understand that being mentally tough means that you will continually work on developing yourself.
You set aside time for reflection. One of the best things I do for myself each day, is make quiet time part of my day. Whether that’s first thing in the morning, in the evening or during my lunch break at work, I make sure that I have time just to reflect and be by myself. Keeping yourself and your mind occupied all the time can result in you being distracted from what really matters to you. Your motivations, goals and what is important to you will change over time. One of the great ways to ensure you keep yourself mentally strong and present within your life, is to create space for meditation, reflection and quiet.
Take the opportunity to be grateful for the things in your life everyday. Chances are that when you feel upset about something and feel overwhelmed and like you can’t deal with a situation, you probably feel like nothing in your life is working out for you. You might focus on the negatives, exaggerate all the little annoyances in your day and ignore all the good things that have been happening. No matter what may be happening in your life right now, there is definitely something to be grateful about. Each day, no matter how difficult it is, take note of all the positive things around you whether that’s nature, your family, friendships or the fact that you are alive today.
Surround yourself with supportive people. Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you have to go through challenges or difficult times alone. Actually being able to ask for help or know when you need to spend time with loved ones, is often a great way to deal with the tough times. Being mentally strong means you can reach out for help when you need to. Mental strength also means that you know when to remove yourself from drama and toxic people. Actively create a support network that is empowering, loving and kind. When you surround yourself with supportive people, you know that you don’t have to deal with challenges alone. Plus, you have the opportunity to return the favor whenever your friends are going through a tough time. Developing mental strength doesn’t happen overnight but follow the tips above and be patient with yourself. Stay resilient and continue persevering. Eventually the process of feeling tough will feel natural.